[actual picture of me on the front porch writing this! HA! #nofilter]
I need to be more vulnerable. Scanning my blog, I’ve noticed that my articles have gotten more “refined.” Part of the reason for this is that I often share my writing with my local church body as well as submit them in our local paper. But sometimes you need to be messy. Life can be a mess. Church can be a mess. The world often looks like a mess! If anything is refined, it’s probably because we aren’t looking hard enough!
The world today specializes on broadcasting a curated image of ourselves. We want others to like us and we want to look like we have life figured out! But that’s not real. Even faith is messy, which brings me to my topic of late. I’m studying toward a master’s degree at Northern Seminary, which I love. The professors are top-notch scholars and they make me think. I get challenged- I get messed up! But instead of issues getting easier and simpler, in some ways, they tend to get more complex. There are numerous perspectives to consider- all from people devoted to Jesus!
Faith and Questions
The point of this post is not to promote a crisis of faith, but to give you permission to wrestle with faith. We don’t do that enough. You can have faith AND questions at the same time! As a pastor, people sometimes expect me to have all the answers. I’ve tried to avoid that trap, because I fully realize that I don’t. Only Jesus has the answers and he often doesn’t share them with us. Yes, Jesus often leaves things in question! He doesn’t spell it all out. Jesus seems completely happy to promote questions rather than answers. Frustrating, right!?
Why would Jesus do that?
Because he loves relationship with us. He wants us to bring our questions to him. Remember when Jacob wrestled with the Angel of the Lord all night in Genesis? After a night of struggle it reads, “‘Your name will no longer be Jacob,’ the man told him. ‘From now on you will be called Israel, because you have fought with God and with men and have won’” (Genesis 32:28 NLT). Something about Jacob’s night of wrestling revealed Jacob’s identity and promoted him to a larger assignment! We should note that if Jacob was successful wrestling with God it was only because God wanted him to win! But get this: God lets us wrestle for our own benefit! We grow through the mess as we seek him!
Slow Discipleship
Unfortunately, the growth sometimes happens very slowly. Very. Slowly. Too slowly for us, in fact! We get impatient and jump to conclusions. We come up with our own answers that get us in trouble. Instead, we’d be better off to stay humble, live in the struggle and admit that we don’t know the answers. This can be a scary posture to take (especially for a pastor!) but I believe that’s when God can begin to bring us revelation, because we recognize that he is the source of Truth. Breakthroughs don’t come because we are so strong or smart- they come because of Jesus.
Jesus said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do” (Matthew 9:12). Jesus came for the sick. In other words, he comes to those who are messed up! If we are following Jesus, we may find ourselves surrounded by people in the middle of the mess! We are all on a process that could be called “slow discipleship.” Think about it, is “fast” discipleship even possible!? I don’t think so. Discipleship takes time and process that simply can’t be rushed. Often the process looks more like exploration and discovery.
We must give others permission to wrestle too. Rather than fearing those who believe differently, perhaps we can learn something from them. A little curiosity goes a long way toward reducing tensions and anxiety. Humility is the door to unity. It can also lead us out of the mess and confusion, as we find safe people that understand our doubts and struggles. This type of vulnerability can feel scary, but finding acceptance and understanding in the mess also feels like love.
From Peter's Blog: https://peterbales.substack.com.